STANDBY FOR A SECURE TRANSMISSION FROM THE MIGHTY POTENTATE
Greetings Pitiful Humans.
As the 3.5 readers of bookshelfbattle.com are aware, I despise the form of media known as “reality television.”
As the greatest being in the Known Universe, I foresee that if left unchecked, this mode of TV will spread across the stars to the point where scripted television becomes no more. No more dramas. No more science fiction. No more comedies. No more romance. Nothing but shows in which cameras follow imbeciles around all day long as they engage in moronic transactions.
Is this the type of universe you wish to live in? It certainly is not one that I look forward to.
In 2015, I took interest Bookshelf Q. Battler’s little known, poorly regarded blog. I envisioned this nerd to be “the chosen one,” the writer whose works would one day inspire the Earth masses to demand a higher form of quality from their entertainment industry, thus relegating reality television to the trash can where it belongs.
To that end, I dispatched an emissary to assist BQB in his blogging efforts. His name? You could not possibly pronounce it. He is not even a “he.” Nay, your primitive language does not even account for asexual beings with unpronounceable names so you are ordered to simply refer to him as, “Alien Jones” or by his title, “The Esteemed Brainy One.”
Despite my numerous threats of vaporization, Jones has failed after assisting BQB for a year. To date, BQB has not published a novel. His blog is barely viewed, even by his elderly aunt, and the chances of him becoming a successful writer appear abysmal.
As you humans are fond of saying, “If you want anything done right, you have to do it yourself.”
Using my ability to prognosticate far into the future, I have taken the details of a great adventure that Jones will one day go on in the year 2999, in the company of a rakish, ne’er-do-well anti-hero human, and beamed this information into BQB’s mind.
I can give BQB the information but ethically, that’s all I can do. It’s still up to Battler to put the data into a novel.
That’s where this site, the Undesiredversadex, comes in. BQB’s primitive human mind can only handle so many details and thus, he will need to write down info regarding the places, planets, alien species, and other phenomena found in the Undesiredverse, that miserable collection of wretched planets that will never, EVER be good enough to be added to my vast, sprawling empire.
Transfix your vision receptacles to this site, pitiful humans, for it will answer all your questions about the garbage planets located in the Milky Way, Andromeda, and all points in close proximity.
Violence. Corruption. Ignorance. Such is the way of these planets.
And thus they are on my shit list.
END OF TRANSMISSION. MIGHTY POTENTATE OUT.